What was and what might be again

Over the weekend, I watched "Akeelah and the Bee" for the first time, and it made me nostalgic for last year's musical. The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee. I was actually in that show twice; the first time was with school, when I played Olive's Mom and got to wear a sari and was in an extremely poor health situation, and the second time was at camp. The camp one was best because I got to play the role that I had wanted originally (Marcy Park, the perfect Catholic girl. As the only Catholic at Unirondack, I suspect I was a shoo-in) and did the show with some of my very favorite people on God's green earth and learned that I can sing in a split. That was fun. The second round of Putnam was so much more fun- partly because I was much, much healthier, and partly because of the camaraderie in that cast. We worked together during every available moment, and we were tight.

This year, M and I are trying to get people in the cast of South Pacific to become closer, but I don't know how well it's working. Before most rehearsals, we get the whole cast together and play improv games to try and loosen people up. Two years ago, a girl who has now graduated had us do acting exercises- meditations and that thing where you all try to count to ten one at a time, without interrupting anybody, and soundscapes and things- but she actually knew what she was doing. She went to NYSSA and wanted to be a professional actress. M and I are not quite so experienced. Plus, there's a limit on what we can do because we're working with middle schoolers now, and they don't want to or can't do a lot of the more complex exercises. And on top of that, we're meeting with some resistance from high school students. It's frustrating.

I'm going to keep working at it, though, for no other reason but for people to make friends. The first time I did the musical, I was so paralyzed by my fear of the other members of the cast- who were all astonishingly talented- that I spent the entire duration of the play talking to maybe five people. I don't want anyone else to feel like that.

And so we press on, daunted but trying not to show it.